When the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come shows Scrooge the Cratchit mourning Cratchit household, Bob Cratchit —the Father— is absent. He is late returning from selecting a grave-plot for Tiny Tim who has passed away and lays in state until that coming Sunday when they will burry him. Bob is not late because of the errand, he is late because “he has walked a little slower than he used, these few last evenings…” (Christmas Carol, Stave 4) explains Peter, the eldest Cratchit boy.
This is strange, out of the ordinary. Bob Cratchit is a lively and strong man. Mrs. Cratchit reflects at the way that she had known him to “walk with Tiny Tim upon his shoulder very fast indeed.” All the children acknowledge this fact.
There’s a lesson here. Writ simply it is this: Bob walks faster when he is burdened. The removing of the burden actually slows him down and saps him of vitality.
Here’s how that lesson applies to us: We too walk faster when we are burdened by those we love. The removing of the burden of belovedness actually results in a greater heaviness.
We live in a world in which we are told “don’t let others drag you down” and to “take care of yourself” and where we are catechized against being burdened by those we love. When others serve us we say neurotically, “Oh no, please, I don’t want to be a burden.” A phrase we deploy to get others comfort us with lies. “Oh no, you’re not a burden” we want to hear them tell us.
But that is not the truth. We are a burden. And they are a burden. But the Gospel of Jesus demonstrates that there is a way to carry one another’s burdens —perhaps we might say one another as burdens— which brings life and wholeness.
Contemporary burn-out is precisely the result of the removing of the burden of belovedness from the contemporary self. Self-help and the worst parts of contemporary therapy (for there are good parts) would have us all live like grieving Bob Cratchits, bereft of Tiny Tim, bereft of the Other, bereft of burdens. The result, however, is unbearable. For there is one burden I cannot carry: myself.
“Buck-up Bob,” the unbearable positivity of contemporary self-help would say, “Without Tiny Tim dragging you down, you can walk faster. You just need to focus on yourself. Get that new side-hustle. Make bread. Work on yourself.”
The paradox is this: we are heavier and slower alone. The burden of the Other quickens us, makes us lighter.
The contemporary person drowns in a surfeit of themself, as Byung-Chul Han argues at length. The apostle’s words summarize the Gospel remedy: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).